1000 Words
by KawaiiLilMarron
Summary: Hakkai still feels there is something he needs to do for Kanan and tells Gojyo he's leaving. But, how does Gojyo really feel about that...? (Yaoi58SongFic)
1. 1000 Words

**1000 Words**

**Chapter 1:** 1000 Words 

**Summary:** Hakkai still feels there is something he needs to do for Kanan and tells Gojyo he's leaving. But, how does Gojyo really feel about that...? (Yaoi/58) 

**A/N:** Okay, this song, I LOVE. It's from Final Fantasy X-2, I suggest the Jade from Sweetbox English version. It's beautiful. If you have it on your computer, play it while reading this. It'll make it more realistic. 

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Hakkai and I had been dating for a while now, we were really close, we've gotten so far as saying I love you, but something was wrong with him lately, I could sense it in him in a way. One night, he wouldn't stop holding me and crying and kissing me everywhere and saying he loved me. I sensed something was wrong, there was... 

I heard a small banging noise that same night, sounded...like bags russeling. I peaked open one crimson eye. Hakkai was packing his things as quietly as possible into his bag, tears streaming down his face. He had a determined look on his face along with the tears as he piled his things neatly into the bag. It took me a while to realize what he was doing... 

_I know that you're hiding things  
Using gentle words to shelter me_

" Hakkai?" I asked sleepily. Hakkai looked over at me, gaping at me. I blinked again. 

" G-Gojyo? What are you doing awake?" Hakkai asked, his voice ragged. 

" I'd like to ask what you're doing babe." I said, placing my head in my hands and looking at him, fully dressed and all. He seemed flustered, still packing his things. " You going somewhere?" 

" I'm, I'm just going...Gojyo..." He gulped. " There is still something I have to do. I don't know what it is but it's still bothering me and I need to fix it." 

" Like what?" As soon as I finished my sentence, it hit me. " Is...is it about Kanan?" I asked. " You still love her, don't you?" I said, keeping any feeling to my voice inside. 

_Your words were like a dream  
But dreams could never fool me, not that easily_

" I'm sorry Gojyo. I do love you, but--I just need to do this." 

" And I can't go with you!? I can't help you do what you need to do to get back on track?" I said, quite angry, standing up out of the bed. 

" No, I need this for myself. I'm sorry Gojyo." He explained, still calm and cool. 

" Fine, go on and go then! I don't need you." I hissed, turning my back to him. 

_I acted so distant then  
Didn't say goodbye before you left_

" Goodbye Gojyo." He said, putting his bag on his back and closing the door behind him as he whispered something. 

" Whatever." I said, lighting a cigarette. " Go save a corpse." 

" Gojyo..." He said, choking on his words as if he was going to cry again as he finally shut the door. 

_But I was listening  
You'll fight your battles far from me, far too easily_

" Stupid...stupid bastard!" I yelled, crushing the burning cigarette in my hand, tears streaming down my face. " You're stupid! You love her! That stupid girl! She didn't save you when you were on the ground dying! I did! I held you and told you 'I Loved You'! She just died and made you suffer and now you want to help your soul in the past! Not now...not here with me..." I cried, punching the pillow in front of me. " I hate you!" 

_"Save your tears cause I'll come back"  
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door_

" I-I can't...I don't need him." I lied to myself, wiping the tears off my face. " Here I am crying like baby. I wonder if this is how girls act when I dump them..." I said, forcing myself to smile. 

_But still I swore  
To hide the pain when I turn back the pages_

" I could have stopped him, I could have yelled, I could have told him I didn't want him to go...but I'm stupid. We both are...him for leaving me for some dead chick and me, for crying over the guy who left him for a dead chick." 

_Shouting might have been the answer  
What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart  
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart_

The next morning, Goku and Sanzo awoke to Hakkai missing. 

" Where's Hakkai, Gojyo?" Goku said, walking into my room as I finished changing. I didn't turn around. 

" He's-" I paused, looking out the window at the rain. I sighed and turned around to look at Gojyo, a smile on my face. 

_Though a thousand words  
Have never been spoken  
They'll fly to you  
Crossing over the time and distance holding you  
Suspended on silver wings_

" He's out saving the one he loves most." 

" Gojyo, I thought that was you..." Goku said. 

" Obviously not. But hey, it's alright with me, it's what he needs to do. He'll come back when he's done." 

" Are you sure?" Goku asked, perking an eyebrow. 

" Yeah. he'll be back. Don't worry about it saru, we've got a world to save." I grinned, making Goku smile along with me. 

_And a thousand words  
One thousand confessions  
Will cradle you  
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away  
They'll hold you forever_

======= 

A/N: It actually sounds better with the song...mmm, there will be a second chapter, that wasn't the whole song. 


	2. 1000 Embraces

**1000 Words**

**Chapter 2:** 1000 Embraces 

**Summary:** Hakkai still feels there is something he needs to do for Kanan and tells Gojyo he's leaving. But, how does Gojyo really feel about that...? (Yaoi/58) 

**A/N:** Yeaaa! Chapter 2! I am so glad I'm actually GETTING reviews for this. On all my other one-shots (which you won't find because they're all deleted) I never got any reviews. I know, pathetic...mmm...okay. Here's the chapter. . And I know I suck at writing. I am getting over writer's block and I am lucky to have ANY ideas at the moment... 

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It had been almost a year since Hakkai left. We're outside Houtou castle now. It's dark, and has an evil aura. It's strange, especally without Hakkai there next to me ready to go inside. We're about half a mile away, to reflect on things before we go in, to regret, to think, to quit at the last moment. None of us were going to do that. We went through too much shit to give up now...but, I couldn't stop thinking about Hakkai... 

_The dream isn't over yet  
Though I often say I can't forget_

I think about it all the time, when Hakkai said goodbye and left me for some stupid girl who was dead. I still call him stupid in my sleep, curse him for leaving me for that girl. I resented her. I've always been there for him and for some reason, she didn't want to let him go, she might as well just take him with her. Not like I want him anymore... 

_I still relive that day "You've been there with me all the way" I still hear you say_

I still remember the look on his face, as if he didn't _want_ to leave me. And I showed no emotion, not caring or worry to him. I regret that. I think that's what got me. He didn't want to leave, but he knew he had to. Thinking about this pissed me off even more. I laid down in the backseat, finishing off my last smoke until we go in. It didn't help, it just made me want him more. I felt something wrenching at my heart, but now was not the time to cry over him. I couldn't get distracted now. 

_"Wait for me I'll write you letters"  
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor  
But still I swore to hide the doubt_

" Guys, I'm gonna go sit over there." I said. 

" Why Gojyo?" Goku asked. 

" I just need...some time to myself." 

" But--" Goku started, but Sanzo shook his head. Goku sat quietly as I walked over to a patch of grass and sat down. 

I...I just think about what I could have done to stop him. I could have yelled, I could have cryed, I could have held him and told him not to go for her...but I didn't have the nerve, to even talk to him about it. No wonder he hasn't come back, I was an ass, of course. If he treated me that way, I'd hate him too. But then again, _I_ wouldn't leave him for some fake idealism that I could save the dead. Tears started rolling down my face again. 

_When I turn back the pages  
Anger might have been the answer_

I said I wouldn't cry anymore...and here I am...crying again. Hiding my tears from Goku and Sanzo. I wish Hakkai would just come back...it's eating me up inside. I've never been known to show this much weakness, but...it's hard when you've loved somebody since the day you saw them. Since the moment I saw him lying on the ground, his pretty face looking up at mine, my mind told me something...I needed Hakkai, from that moment on he never left me, and I never left him. I heard short footsteps coming from behind me. 

" Go away monkey." I hissed. 

_What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait  
But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late_

" Calling me a monkey now?" A familiar voice whispered in my ear. My eyes widened as he enclosed me in a familiar embrace. He held me close to his chest. I started crying again. " I'm sorry." He whispered, brushing his hands through my crimson hair. 

_Oh a thousand words  
Have never been spoken, they'll fly to you_ " You-You came back. Why? You said you needed to go to her." I sniffled. 

" I knew...there was somebody out there who needed me more." He explained, hugging me tighter. 

" I missed you so much. Promise you won't leave me again." 

" No force on this earth can keep me from you, Gojyo." Hakkai smiled, wiping the remaining moisture off my cheeks. 

_They'll carry you home and back into my arms  
Suspended on silver wings_

" Hakkai..." I whispered, slowly pressing his lips onto mine, savoring the taste of him. I pulled him closer to me, my hands trailing along his back. 

" Gojyo..." He smiled as we let go of each other. 

" I love you." we said at the same time, making us both start laughing. 

" So babe, you ready to go?" I smiled, standing up. 

" Yeah." He nodded. He started to get up, but I scooped him up in my arms. He panicked and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. 

" Ah! Gojyo! What are you doing!?" 

" I'm never letting you go. What does it look like I'm doing?" I smiled, kissing him on the cheek. 

He chuckled. " I guess that's alright." 

_And a thousand words  
Call out through the ages  
They'll cradle you  
Turning all of the lonely years to only days  
They'll hold you forever_

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**A/N:** Yeah, that was the end. I guess it wasn't so bad. I'm not good at writing mushy stuff. But I did almost cru during Gojyo's little thoughts. It's sad when you're listening to the song...oo. Thanks for all the reviews. No go read my other story, _'Anything But Ordinary'_. 


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